A timeline of inner feelings. Kind of. September 5, 2016: “I want to be inside you,” he texted me. I had never even met this man, and he did not realize he already was inside me – just not the way he was hoping for. He had so much more. His voice curled up in my […]
Some say you can see a candle’s flame flickering from 30 miles away in the pitch black. But who cares about that when I can spot you in a crowded room with just a glimpse of the back of your head?
I try to draw a connection between the feelings of love and drowning, and all I recall is a whisper of a memory. My body still remembers fragmented pieces of pain, echoes from a love that hurt for its entire duration. Three years later, I realize what I felt was not worthy to be called love. […]
Don’t make mountains of molehills, they say, without helping you decipher between the two. Your sleep is chased away by the ghosts that haunt you in every disastrous lie every boy in your life has told you. The lies reverberate in the type of clarity only hindsight can afford –a record skipping with wild abandon. It […]
I keep thinking of drowning and love and how they feel kind of similar. They suspend you, weightless, and everything about it is pain. But really, drowning. Is it the worst way to die? It’s suffocation, but more violent. The oxygen isn’t there. It isn’t being taken away. It’s replaced by something we can’t live with. It’s […]
When my aunt proclaimed that it was such a shame, my cheeks turned red–but maybe it was just the Southern heat. When my mom nodded in agreement, my stomach twisted. Before I could open my mouth, they were onto the next picture. A picture of a house in San Francisco, where my mother had lived in […]
God, it’s happened somehow. I used to be cold. I used to be ruthless. I used to be fearless and self destructive, because I could not speak. I couldn’t speak what I was thinking so instead I painted lines in my skin with a blade and I used to scoff at the idea of love […]